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| Things to Consider Before Marriage |
Marriage means responsibility. In spite of the impression given by TV and movies, you
won’t spend most of your married life sitting on the couch holding hands, on the beaches,
or walking hand in hand through a field of flowers. Your wife will not always be as
beautiful as she now is. Your husband may go without shaving and leave his dirty socks
on the floor. So if we are going to marry, we need some responsible maturity. Now there
are some important traits needed to insure a happy marriage.
I. Eight Traits Needed
1. Adaptability and flexibility - Must be able to change. Must be able to accept the
differences in his partner, adapt, and work toward a different lifestyle if necessary.
2. Empathy - The ability to be sensitive to the need, hurts, and desires of others,
feeling and experiencing their world from their perspective. (Romans 12:15).
3. Ability to work through problems - To control our emotional reactions and clarify
and define our problems and work toward a solution.
4. The ability to give and receive love - Love is more than saying it. It must be
shown in tangible ways. Receiving love is important. Some people have such a need to
be needed they feel fulfilled by giving. Th receive love threatens them. So this must be
resolved.
5. Emotional Stability - Accepting one’s emotions and controlling them. Never
make decisions on emotional flare ups.
6. The more similar family backgrounds - Makes adjustments easier.
7. Similarities between the couple themselves - Same interests, likes, dislikes, friends
and religion.
8. Communication Free interchange of ideas is essential. To share in such a way that
the other person can understand and accept what is being said. Listening is involved.
True listening means not thinking about what you are going to say when the other person
stops. It means weighing out all that is said.
II. Danger Signs In Dating
It is better- to take this brief test before you become engaged so that if definite danger
signs turn up you will have time to do something about them before committing yourself
officially to marriage plans. If you are already engaged and encounter danger signs, then
by all means delay your wedding plans until you can straighten out the problem areas that
you or your partner have.
1 . A general uneasy feeling about the relationship. Lack of inner peace. A nagging,
aching, disturbing feeling inside that says, “Something is wrong.” Don’t ignore that feeling.
It may be your own temporarily numbed common sense, or it may be Gods Spirit trying
to communicate something to you.
2. Frequent arguments. Never sure how the date will end. More fighting than fun.
3. Avoiding discussing sensitive subjects because you’re afraid of hurting your
partner’s feelings or starting an argument.
4. Getting more involved physically. You resolve to limit the acceleration of your
physical intimacy, but find that on each new date you start again at the place where you
left off. Sometimes couples get involved physically as a way to avoid arguments.
5. If you find yourself always doing what your accommodating, This could indicate a
selfish, domineering partner and/or a serious insecurity on your part.
6. If you detect serious emotional disturbances such as extreme fears, extreme
shyness, strange behaviour, irrational anger, inflicting physical injury, inability to
demonstrate affection.
7. If you feel you are staying in the relationship through fear.
8. If your partner is constantly complaining about apparently unreal aches and pains
and going from doctor to doctor.
9. If your partner continually makes excuses for not finding a job. If he or she
borrows money from you frequently. The partner who evades responsibility and who can’
t manage his money wisely will be a poor marriage risk.
10. If your partner is overly jealous, suspicious, questions your word all the time, feels
that everyone is against him.
11 . If the one you date is a perfectionist and is constantly critical.
12. Treats you with contempt. Uses biting sarcasm.
13. Parents and other significant people are strongly against your marriage. Consider
their reasons before you make a final decision.
14. Lack of spiritual harmony.
15. Few areas of common interest.
16. Inability to accept constructive criticism. Does not apologize when he is wrong.
won’t spend most of your married life sitting on the couch holding hands, on the beaches,
or walking hand in hand through a field of flowers. Your wife will not always be as
beautiful as she now is. Your husband may go without shaving and leave his dirty socks
on the floor. So if we are going to marry, we need some responsible maturity. Now there
are some important traits needed to insure a happy marriage.
I. Eight Traits Needed
1. Adaptability and flexibility - Must be able to change. Must be able to accept the
differences in his partner, adapt, and work toward a different lifestyle if necessary.
2. Empathy - The ability to be sensitive to the need, hurts, and desires of others,
feeling and experiencing their world from their perspective. (Romans 12:15).
3. Ability to work through problems - To control our emotional reactions and clarify
and define our problems and work toward a solution.
4. The ability to give and receive love - Love is more than saying it. It must be
shown in tangible ways. Receiving love is important. Some people have such a need to
be needed they feel fulfilled by giving. Th receive love threatens them. So this must be
resolved.
5. Emotional Stability - Accepting one’s emotions and controlling them. Never
make decisions on emotional flare ups.
6. The more similar family backgrounds - Makes adjustments easier.
7. Similarities between the couple themselves - Same interests, likes, dislikes, friends
and religion.
8. Communication Free interchange of ideas is essential. To share in such a way that
the other person can understand and accept what is being said. Listening is involved.
True listening means not thinking about what you are going to say when the other person
stops. It means weighing out all that is said.
II. Danger Signs In Dating
It is better- to take this brief test before you become engaged so that if definite danger
signs turn up you will have time to do something about them before committing yourself
officially to marriage plans. If you are already engaged and encounter danger signs, then
by all means delay your wedding plans until you can straighten out the problem areas that
you or your partner have.
1 . A general uneasy feeling about the relationship. Lack of inner peace. A nagging,
aching, disturbing feeling inside that says, “Something is wrong.” Don’t ignore that feeling.
It may be your own temporarily numbed common sense, or it may be Gods Spirit trying
to communicate something to you.
2. Frequent arguments. Never sure how the date will end. More fighting than fun.
3. Avoiding discussing sensitive subjects because you’re afraid of hurting your
partner’s feelings or starting an argument.
4. Getting more involved physically. You resolve to limit the acceleration of your
physical intimacy, but find that on each new date you start again at the place where you
left off. Sometimes couples get involved physically as a way to avoid arguments.
5. If you find yourself always doing what your accommodating, This could indicate a
selfish, domineering partner and/or a serious insecurity on your part.
6. If you detect serious emotional disturbances such as extreme fears, extreme
shyness, strange behaviour, irrational anger, inflicting physical injury, inability to
demonstrate affection.
7. If you feel you are staying in the relationship through fear.
8. If your partner is constantly complaining about apparently unreal aches and pains
and going from doctor to doctor.
9. If your partner continually makes excuses for not finding a job. If he or she
borrows money from you frequently. The partner who evades responsibility and who can’
t manage his money wisely will be a poor marriage risk.
10. If your partner is overly jealous, suspicious, questions your word all the time, feels
that everyone is against him.
11 . If the one you date is a perfectionist and is constantly critical.
12. Treats you with contempt. Uses biting sarcasm.
13. Parents and other significant people are strongly against your marriage. Consider
their reasons before you make a final decision.
14. Lack of spiritual harmony.
15. Few areas of common interest.
16. Inability to accept constructive criticism. Does not apologize when he is wrong.
| Matthew 19:4-6 |
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Blessed Hope
A Continuing Ministry of Milford Cecil
A Continuing Ministry of Milford Cecil
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